Fries With That?
by Glittering Pegasus
Summary: An in depth look into the many reasons why you don't see many spies hanging out at the local McDonalds. *Strike a Match fans will prob. like this :-)*
1. Part One

Fries With That?  
  
Part One  
  
"So, what are you thinking for dinner tonight?"  
  
"I'm thinking that you should lower your voice before dinner is the least of our problems."  
  
"Come on, no one's gonna hear us. Lighten up."  
  
"Yeah, no one's gonna hear us. Don't you know that phrases like that are the kisses of death?"  
  
"No, the kiss of death would be if I kissed you right here. I guarantee you that would have us dead by sundown."  
  
"Stop, don't tempt me."  
  
"Ha ha."  
  
Ah, welcome, dear souls, to this oh so auspicious tale. You have reached that defining point in the journey when I, your humble narrator, drop in and clear up a bit of what is, in a manner or speaking, going down.  
  
So, what have you, the reader, just stumbled upon? Could it be the sappy and shallow dabbles of two adolescent children on a weakly directed Disney Channel TV show? Thank Heavens, no. Could it be the amorous exchange between the hero and heroine of a picturesque romance novel? Not quite, but closer.  
  
No, this is the utterly individual and incomparable conversation of Agents Michael Vaughn and Sydney Bristow of the Central Intelligence Agency. Their relationship is far from that of the conventional adventurous couples, and yet through the perils and hardships their love has sufficed. What they have is uniquely their own.  
  
But, I assume this is a story you've heard time and time again, and so I shall continue on to the more important matters at hand. You see, not long after you entered this escapade, the two agents were interrupted as they always are. You most likely know this, but it seems these two can never gain a simple second. They can save the world and each other as part of a daily agenda, yet the Fates are always so cruel as so not to give them a moment's privacy.  
  
And so, that man with the mirror shiny head proceeds to barge into their talk, the florescent light bouncing off his head like a laser. I don't want you to miss a moment of this happy little chat, so now we return.  
  
"Agent Bristow, I have an assignment for you."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"We recently received intel that this man, Arthur Brookland," he hands her a glossy black and white photo revealing a middle aged man whose sinister mustache and beard restrain from revealing all too much, "has valuable information that could lead us to Sloane."  
  
And this is where we see the lovely Sydney Bristow's eyes flash with eagerness. Like I say, you know much about these people, and so you know of Miss Bristow's undying quest to capture expert schemer and part time asshole, Arvin Sloane.  
  
"What do I have to do to get this guy?"  
  
"Well, we've been monitoring him for the past week or so and a pattern has become clear to us. Every day, at random and unpredictable intervals, he stops at the McDonald's on Lakewood Boulevard and orders a Big Mac, a medium fry, a large coke, and a yogurt parfait."  
  
And now, the all too familiar and somewhat patented Bristow Confused Glance. You've seen it many a time, I'm sure.  
  
"So... how does that help us get this guy?"  
  
"Well, Miss Bristow, it will require a little undercover work."  
  
"What kind of undercover work are we talking about?"  
  
And this is where I leave you, because Sydney's reaction to what Kendall will pursue in telling her is not one that is pleasant enough to share in the company of others. So now we part until the continuation of this epic adventure, where I hope you will choose to return!  
  
Our tale continues soon and until then, please be so kind as to congratulate or criticize the work of me, as always, your loyal storyteller. ***** A/N: lol I was serious. Review! How do you like this extremely odd piece of work so far? What's the incredible undercover work going to require? Hmm... ;-) Stick around for part two! 


	2. Part Two

A/N: Hey people. Sorry for the long- time-no-update thing. Lol. Kinda overloaded with fics at the moment. :-)

**Fries With That?~ Part Two**

Ah, welcome back to this exhilarating story. I'm so glad you have all decided to return and share in our pain, happiness, laughter, and tears as we journey through this perplexing adventure. 

So where did we last leave you, kind explorers? Oh, yes. The heroine of our tale was being informed of the duty she would have to partake in. Now we rejoin her as she begins the preparations for this most arduous voyage into the world on the other side of the static-run speaker. 

Here we are in her humble adobe. 

"Vaughn! Where the hell is that stupid hat?"

"I think you left it on the kitchen counter. Syd, can't you at least try to get into character? You're serving _Happy Meals, remember?" _

"Yes. And why do you think the meals are so happy? It's because they're not cooking themselves. They're not serving themselves to the people who eat them. They're not wearing dumb hats and striped aprons. They just sit around and wait to be eaten and die.  And they don't have to look at that God damned clown."

"Don't insult Ronald McDonald." 

"Shut up."

"Syd, you've gone on so many worse missions than this."

"Name one."

"I'll name _two_ off the top of my head. Server 47; the 'Put on the red one' guy. And that man who licked your face."

Ah, it appears Sydney may have finally been stumped by her rather debonair boyfriend. 

"No, those guys were perverted pigs whose asses I kicked later anyway. This... this is just plain degrading." 

Alas, I spoke too soon. He gives in a little. 

"Alright, I'll admit it. It's a little on the... unthreatening side. But Syd, it'll only be a day, two or three at the most."

"Thank you, Vaughn, for making me feel so much better. And to think you're usually so great at consoling me." 

"Anytime."

"What would I do without you?"

"Break into world famous ancient Italian buildings by yourself."

"Good answer. Come on, time to meet my personal hell. Can I say how much I hate this job?" 

"Because I haven't heard it enough since yesterday afternoon..."

"Hey, you wanna sleep on the couch tonight?"

"Damnit. Well no, I guess not." 

This particular couple's jokingly angry romantic conversations can go on for some time in this way, so here is where I will interject. 

I have to say I apologize for this passage to be of such short proportions, but I felt it necessary to display Miss Bristow's... well... I feel "distaste" is a bit of an understatement but I will use that term for lack of many stronger... for this specific mission. 

I promise you all, the next installment of this wondrous and earth shattering novel will be exciting and electrifying, having you clutch the edge of your seat with laughter and anticipation at every word. 

Of course, the fine and colorful author of this piece wishes to make it known that the previous comment intended no egocentricity or narcissism. Because she is such a fine and wonderful person. Her ego is in no way as large as the hole she is quickly digging herself deeper and deeper into. 

Ah... my dear friends... excuse me. I don't believe her threat to "close this document and erase your existence without saving unless you shut up RIGHT NOW!" was an empty one. 

Join us next time! 

TBC...

(When the author has completed her 'pep talk' with her big-mouthed and overly verbose narrator. This could take a while...)

A/N: Okay, incredibly stupid, I know. Lol. Review anyway please :-)


End file.
